Another poem…

This one doesn’t have a title.  Comments appreciated…


Alone, abandoned, I huddle here

‘neath savage

Furious clouds.

My heart cries

And in my pain, I know

You’re gone.

~

Throbbing, breaking, my heart looks up

To the dark

Heavens above.

Through my tears

Past rain and storm, my eyes

Behold…

~

Slowly, swiftly, the clouds draw apart

And dimly

Beyond grey sky

I see Your

Hand upon the gates of

Tempest.

~

Only a moment, but enough to glimpse

That though the storm

Batters my soul,

In Your hand

You hold the power over

All things.

~

Perfectly, masterfully, You measure out

Drop by drop

The purifying storm.

Your love is

All that I need to carry

Me through.

~

Softly, gently, the teardrops fall

From heaven.

And though clouds again veil

Your presence

In the cold rain, I know

Your grace.

~c. a.

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One thought on “Another poem…

  1. Hi Carreen! Neat poem. I really like the layout of the stanzas. My favorite things about it:

    -The first two words of every stanza. They give a great rhythm and sense of movement

    -Last two stanzas. The idea of God sending the storm as purification is not the most obvious route to take, so I think it takes this poem out of the realm of the ordinary. God doesn’t just make things sunny–it’s kind of like Casting Crowns’ “Praise you in the Storm” song. Great thoughts there.

    Suggestions…um, not really much of anything. I will just mention the second line of the first stanza (‘neath savage). It always bugs me when poets crunch words to make them fit the line. It seems like it draws attention to the rhythm. I would just use a word that fits in the first place, like “under”, even if it’s not as poetic. But that’s just personal preference. I know many great poets do it, so I don’t really have a right to say anything =)…

    Overall, fantastic job. I really enjoyed it and it made me think.

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