A Thought…

My heart was unworthy to pay

The awesome price You require

Of sin.

Unworthy to be sacrificed

In death,

You gave me your holiness.

By the faith You gave me, I was counted righteous

And now by Your merit, I am worthy to be sacrificed

In life.

~c. a.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “A Thought…

  1. I know you said in class that this wasn’t really a poem, but I think it totally is. I love your thoughts and your word choices. I can see a sort of contrast going on, and if I were you I would shave out some of the middle and rearrange the structure to emphasize the contrast. Something like this:

    My heart was unworthy
    To pay the awesome price
    You require
    Of sin

    You were

    Unworthy to be sacrificed
    In death
    You gave me Your holiness

    I am

    Worthy to be sacrificed
    In life
    You gave me Your righteousness

    Something like that, anyway. If you see, rearranging it gave a really big contrast between the “unworthy to be sacrificed in death” line and the “worthy to be sacrificed in life” line. You always have powerful, inspiring thoughts on your faith, which I think is fantastic. Great job!

  2. This poem or thought or muse — actually, I’ll just call it a scribbling — was a huge “aha” moment for me. I was reading through the book of Hebrews and suddenly realized that Jesus was sacrificed in death so that I might be made worthy to be sacrificed in life. All that to say, yes, I was really hoping to contrast the Jesus in death, me in life; me unworthy, now made worthy.

    I really like your idea of reworking it…you always structure your poetry so powerfully. I looked at your idea enough to get it, but I’m not going to read it all the way so that I’m not just copying it. I’ll rework mine with contrast and structure in mind and repost. By the way, thank you so much for your comments. I feel very honored that you consider my work worth taking the time to critique.

  3. I agree, this poem has a fantastic message. I’ll look forward to seeing a reworked version.

    As for commenting, it’s my pleasure. I really enjoy your work. I’m certainly no expert; all my advice is very subjective and you’re free to ignore some, part, or all of it! =) Thanks to you, as well, for always commenting on my stuff and taking extra time to look at my poems. Your thoughts are always very encouraging.

write on a balloon...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s