this is life 21.0: it never ends.

february.  these last few weeks of it busier than i think i’ve ever been.  the kind of busy where you look at your schedule and feel like you could cry, only you don’t have the time.  the kind where you go to bed late and get up early and still don’t accomplish all that you must.  the kind where you feel like no matter what you prioritize, you fail at something.  i have never drowned, but i imagine the sensation would be similar.  like it goes on and on and on and the to-do list never ends.  but what is beautiful beyond belief is to know that what never ends is the love of God.  and equally beautiful is to know that this love is not dependent on my ability to remember it, but on His power alone.  so that when i feel in over my head, i know that i’m not dependent on my own ability to tread water but on Christ’s power, on the assurance of His sacrifice.  this is life.  Life.  breathing and moving and studying and working and not sleeping for the glory of God, by the power that i do not have apart from Him.

i know i need You

  i need to love You

i love to see You but it’s been so long
  i long to feel You
i feel this need for You
  i need to hear You
is that so wrong? now You pull me near You
when we are close i fear You
still, i’m afraid to tell You all that i’ve done

are You done forgiving?
or can You look past my pretending, Lord?
i’m so tired of defending what i’ve become
what have i become?

  i hear You say
‘My love is over
it’s underneath
it’s inside
it’s in between

the times that you doubt Me
when you can’t feel
the times that you question
is this for real?

the times you’re broken
the times that you mend
the times you hate Me
and the times that you bend

well, My love is over
it’s underneath
it’s inside
it’s in between

the times that you’re healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you’ve fallen from grace

the times you’re hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and are tempted to steal

in times of confusion
in chaos and pain
I’m there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame

I’m there through your heart-ache
I’m there in the storm
My love, I will keep you by my power alone

I don’t care where you’ve fallen or where you have been
I’ll never forsake you
My love never ends
it never ends.’

(tenth avenue north.times)
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