‘we’ll plant some roots and some apple trees…’

mothers are incredibly instinctive. they know so much and say so little; and when they speak, their words are wise. a dear friend of mine posted this little story on her blog a week or so ago. a few days ago, i decided to take a break from analyzing poetry and writing essays to help my family and my cousins pick apples in a friend’s orchard. as we were leaving, my mom said, ‘carreen, why don’t you take your camera? you can get some pictures of the kids.’

that’s all she said then.

but i found that as i focused my camera on the fruit-laden branches, my cousins petting cats and climbing trees and getting sticky with apple juice, the glorious golden sunlight washing over it all…my heart filled with light, as well. the elderly lady who hosted us at one point said, ‘there is so much to make you smile. the fruit, the sunshine, the bees, the flowers…’

it was such a simplistic view of the world…but oh, i needed to hear it that day.

because my heart was so heavy that i had forgotten that there was an outside world. that God had showered me already with so many blessings. that the very air i breathed was a gift. that His love was and is evident in ways that i so often take for granted.

‘yesterday is gone
today i can see, oh, today i can see
my, my, my, for the very first time
i waved goodbye, bye, bye
to what used to weight me down
my, my, my, everything’s alright
the sun is shining down
i’m looking all around
and this is just so beautiful…’

jenny&tyler.this is just so beautiful

the feeling of joy and sweetness that i found that morning did not last forever. the rest of that day was difficult in many ways. the next morning was even harder. but the flavor of it stayed with me. i caught the scent of it when i passed the buckets and bags of apples in the garage, when i watched the glowing sun disappear over purple hills that evening. i found it with tears that night as i prayed and i heard it in the sound of the crickets outside my window.

God is good. always. and when i have lost sight of that goodness, i need to focus my mind and my heart on the evidences of it that He has so graciously given.

sometimes, that takes literally focusing my camera on beautiful things, simple things–a child stretching up to reach an apple,  sunlight trickling through the trees, a cat napping on a gold-bathed porch. and it takes reminding myself of my roots–my family, the outdoors, capturing moments of beauty and joy.

and as i later found out–my mom knew all that.




‘i begin to see reality
for the first time in my life
i know that i’m a shadow
but i’m dancing in Your light…’

jj heller.only love remains


‘sunlight over me no matter what I do
apples in the summer are golden sweet
every day a passing complete…’

fleet foxes.the shrine/an argument



‘when the sun
shines through the leaves of the apple-tree,
when the sun
makes shadows of the leaves of the apple-tree,
then i pass
on the grass
from one leaf to another,
from one leaf to its brother…’

a. a. milne.twinkletoes


(i took two almost identical pictures, but left a little more bokeh in one than in the other. the one above is a little sharper and more vibrant, but i like the next one better…it is not a picture of the apples so much as it is a picture of the light, and that i love.)


‘i pray light will 
leak from our pockets 
we’ll be drenched, overcome 
at night the fireflies 
streamers at our sides 
silent flaming arcs of hope…’

josh garrels.jacaranda tree



3 thoughts on “‘we’ll plant some roots and some apple trees…’

  1. I wish I were there to give you a hug. :) I would pour us a cup of tea (or coffee) and listen to you “unload” and then we’d go outside and scare all the moms at the park by playing on the playground. ;)

    Love you girl! Remember I’m here to talk if you need to.

    Pretty pics, btw. You’re getting better!

    Love always,

  2. I’m so thankful for all the reminders of His blessings all around us! I can be so fickle and easily forget! Praying that whatever you’re going through will continue to bring you closer to God. He is faithful!

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