full.

life is full right now.

in just sixty-seven days i will give my life to the man i love. two weeks after that, i will move with him to a new state…a new home.

there is a stack of boxes quickly growing like some fungus all over the room that my patient sister and i share. some of them are full, marked, taped, ready to be packed into the u-haul. others are half-full, waiting for like items to complete them so that hopefully, the mysteries of unpacking will not be so mysterious. others are empty, waiting around because they seemed like a ‘useful’ or ‘versatile’ size, or because they seemed too ‘sturdy’ to recycle.

life is feeling a lot like that stack of boxes, right now. so very full…of responsibilities, things to be done, people who love me, people to love.  a little bit empty in places, knowing that these are my last few months in the place that has been home for twenty years of my life. a lot overwhelmed by stacks of priorities that have a tendency to slip and slide at the most inconvenient of times, and make a mess all over the room in my heart called ‘conscience.’

but, like that stack of boxes…life is unbelievably exciting, right now. full, not of fear, but of promise. and yes, i am quite aware that it is not all ‘happy’ promise. i am more aware than most people realize of how relationships with the people you love the most require the most work, pain, and sacrifice.  i am more aware than most people realize of just how difficult this thing called ‘Life’ can be.

but i am also well aware that my best friend and i, we serve a great and sovereign God, who has filled us, and will be faithful to fill us, with all that we need to glorify Him and love each other. and so, perhaps it is crazy, but i am looking forward, not only to living life with robert, but to living Life with him. to being emptied again and again with him, so that together we can be filled with the fullness of the love of Christ. so that, filled ourselves, we can fill each other with the love we have received from God. i am fearful at times, but i am so looking forward to pulling up roots and putting them down again afresh in a new place, in a new name…and in the love of God, which never changes.

‘for this reason i bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.’

ephesians 3:14-19

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5 thoughts on “full.

  1. Great words of wisdom, Carreen. Life is often “full”… full of weddings, and babies and homeschooling and health issues… and we are often “empty”, but our God is always faithful to fill us again and again!

  2. Great reminders! Love your scribbles! Excited for you in every way.

  3. Carreen, I’m so excited for you and Robert! Much love and prayers as you begin to walk down this new path together!

  4. just found your blog–and love this post. I got married last year and marriage is the most wonderful thing in the world, even with the hard parts. enjoy it! I also saw the song you had in your last post–that’s the song we danced to at our wedding, and has continued to come true more and more for us. blessings to you!

    1. thanks, susannah! i most definitely intend to enjoy it. =] i have always really loved that song, too…it’s the most gospel-grounded love song i have heard yet, which is what i like most about it.

      thanks for stopping by, and for the well-wishes! do you mind if i ask how you found my blog? i feel like i’ve seen you around the internet somewhere before, but i can’t remember if it’s photography-related or maybe college plus…?

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